Let's get it right before we go further,
Don't say bird watcher, always say birder.
If you're a pretty good birder, eyes like
Be sure you know how to talk the talk.
Always say "trash birds" for the birds
you don't love,
Whether Rock Pigeon or whether Rock Dove.
Your birding grade will stay at D,
'Til you call the Turkey Vulture a TV.
You'll stay at C and be thought a phony,
'Til you call the Bonaparte's Gull a Boney.
People will know that you're finally a
When you call the Mourning Dove a Modo.
You'll be an of pro and not quite rate,
If you keep calling the Wigeon a Baldpate.
You'll be really old and sort of a
If you call the Yellow-Rumped Warbler a Myrtle.
Since it s important how one talks and acts,
Be casual when you throw in “Empidonax"
Try to be nice to the birder who's new,
And doesn't have a clue when you say, "Great Blue."
On the hawk tower be an alpha male,
And call out, "The hawk on the left's a Tail."
If anyone's impressed just be bolder,
And wait for the chance to say, "There's a Shoulder."
Seabirds are great, but oh the magic
In saying, "We just got back from a pelagic."
For your cholesterol problem it's lipitor,
For the Sharpy-Cooper problem, it's Accipit(o)r.
Sharpy, Semi-Pal, or Merg as the word
And the all time favorite - Lifer-Bird.
P. S. I'm now so bad, my club's struck a
I can go on the van trips if I cut the jargon.